When Harry met Sally at a Milonga...

16th April 2010

Part the First: "Just dance partners"

Sally: We are just going to be dance partners, ok?

Harry: Great! Tango dance partners! It's the best thing.

Sally: It is a social dance after all.

Harry: You realise of course that in no way can tango be a social dance.

Sally: Why not?

Harry: What I'm saying is... and this is not a come-on in any way, shape or form, is that men and women can't just be dance partners in tango, because the sex part always gets in the way.

Sally: That's not true, I have a number of men partners who I dance with and there's is no sex involved.

Harry: No you don't.

Sally: Yes I do.

Harry: No you don't.

Sally: Yes I do.

Harry: You only think you do.

Sally: You're saying I'm having sex with these men without my knowledge?

Harry: No, what I'm saying is they all want to have sex with you.

Sally: They do not.

Harry: Do too.

Sally: They do not.

Harry: Do too.

Sally: How do you know?

Harry: Because no man can just dance with a woman he finds attractive, he always wants to have sex with her.

Sally: So you're saying that a man can just dance with a woman he finds unattractive.

Harry: Nuh, you pretty much wanna nail 'em too.

Sally: What if they don't want to have sex with you?

Harry: Doesn't matter, because the sex thing is already out there so the friendship is ultimately doomed and that is the end of the story.

Sally: Well I guess we're not going to be dance partners then.

Harry: Guess not.

Sally: That's too bad. You are the only person I knew in New York.

Harry: Thanks for the tanda.

Sally: Yeah, it was interesting.

Harry: It was nice knowing you.

Sally: Yeah.

(They shake hands)

Part The Second: Who was that milonguero?

Harry: With whom did you have this great tango?

Sally: I'm not going to tell you that!

Harry: Fine, don't tell me.

Sally: Shel Gordon.

Harry: Shel? Sheldon? No, no, you didn't have great tango with ... Sheldon.

Sally: I did too.

Harry: No you didn't. A Sheldon can do your income taxes. If you need a root canal Sheldon's your man, but cadencia and musicality is not Sheldon's strong suit. It's the name.
"Connect with me 'Sheldon'," "Baile con migo 'Sheldon'," "Lead me pasadas 'Sheldon'."
Doesn't work. Sheldon is a modern jiver or at best a salsero, even a ballroom dancer, but tango, non

Part the Third: THAT scene...

Harry and Sally are discussing follower reactions

Harry: I think they have an OK time.

Sally: How do you know?

Harry: What do you mean how do I know? I know.

Sally: Because they... close their eyes?

Harry: Yes, because they...

Sally: And how do you know that they really...

Harry: What are you saying, that they fake enjoying dancing?

Sally: It's possible.

Harry: Get outta here!

Sally: Why? Most women at one time or another have faked it.

Harry: Well they haven't faked it with me.

Sally: How do you know?

Harry: Because I know.

Sally: Oh, right, that's right, I forgot, you're a man.

Harry: What is that supposed to mean?

Sally: Nothing. It's just that all men are sure it never happened to them and that most women at one time or another have done it so you do the math.

Harry: You don't think that I could tell the difference?

Sally: No.

Harry: Get outta here.

[They get up, and Sally begins to fake enoying a tanda]

Harry: Are you OK?

[Sally continues very audibly, attracting the attention of nearly every other dancer in the milonga]

Older Woman Dancer: [to DJ] I'll dance to what she's having.

~ BorderTangoMan, 16th April 2010